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Fast Food Unfiltered

McDonald’s vs Wendy’s: The Unfiltered Drive-Thru Roast

Because apparently, we needed square burgers and emotional trauma with our fries.

Fast food is like the toxic ex that you keep calling even after you swore them off 10 times. Its the reminder that no one is above temptation and toxic relationships. I mean just think about it for a moment. Fast food is convenient, familiar, unhealthy, and IT WILL DISSPOINT YOU. But even when you leave countless times, you'll always go back...just like with your ex. 

In a comment on one of the previous blog post, the reader "Breannawallen16" requested a blog on McDonalds vs Wendy's and why I pick that one. But what Breanna didn't realize is I am probably the pickiest person in the world with the oddest pallet ever. So this is gonna be interesting...

Today's post? An unfiltered roast of the Fast Food Industrial Complex. Buckle up.

The Good- Things I actually like

McDonald's fries. Look, these fries are basically seasoned with some grease, a little sweat, and a whole lot of MSG. When these fries are fresh its a definite 10/10, but when they are cold they are a weapon.

Wendy's frostys. Is it a shake? Is it ice cream? All I know is its usually only a dollar and on occasion its only 50 cents and I need me some cheap frozen dairy product.


Chick-fil-A’s customer service. The way they say “my pleasure” as if I just gave them a kidney makes me feel like I'm contributing to society. Chick-fil-A really is God's restaurant. 


Burger King’s onion rings. Underrated. Slightly sad. But still better than their actual burgers.

Taco Bell at 1AM. Questionable decisions taste better in a tortilla. 

The Bad - Here's Where It Goes Off the Rails

McDonald's Ice cream machine. Does it ever work? No it does not. Its broken...yet again. At this point I can't tell if its an actual machine or just a relic. 

Wendy's Pretends to be fancy. Just because you have a song that mentions you that is named Fancy, does not mean that you are really fancy. Having square burgers does not make you gourmet, sweetie. Your still a drive through with commitment issues that is so insecure you have to advertise that you don't serve freezer burnt food.

Soggy lettuce and Hand prints. Nothing says "we gave up" like wilted greens on your $5 sandwich and a hand print on your bun. 

Fast Food Bathrooms. If I ever go missing, check the bathroom at any fast food joint (especially taco Bell). They're horror movie sets with hand dryers.

Portions shrink, Prices rise. My grandmother has sat in her little rocking chair while telling me about the good ole days before inflation when $10 could buy you a full meal. And now it gets you a paper straw and a side of regret.

 🔥Hot Takes You Didn’t Ask For (But I’m Giving Anyway)

McDonald’s breakfast is the only thing keeping them in business. Oh and the Big Mac secret sauce.

No one actually likes Burger King they just end up there when the line for Chick-fil-A is too long. But I mean if you just gotta have it your way....

Subway isn’t even fast food. It’s DIY disappointment. 

Frosties are better than McFlurries. Yeah, I said it. And plus the Wendy's ice cream machine actually works.


 Can We All Agree…

Messy tacos. No one has ever successfully eaten a Taco Bell Crunchwrap in public without a structural collapse.

The sauce is boss. Chick-fil-A sauce is the only reason people deal with the parking lot chaos.

The last one gimmick. “Limited time only” items are always the best and always get taken away. Except of course for pumpkin spice, it needs taken away...

The feasting reaping. Fast food app deals are the modern-day Hunger Games.

Wendy’s vs. McDonald’s – The Final Face-Off

If Wendy’s and McDonald’s were people, Wendy would be that try-hard with a sharp tongue and a superiority complex, while McDonald’s is the washed-up high school quarterback who peaked in the '90s but still thinks he’s something. Let’s break it down:

Fries:
 McDonald’s wins. No debate. Wendy’s fries are trying to be rustic and home-style but end up tasting like someone’s freezer burn trauma.

Burgers:
 Wendy’s wins here—barely. Their burgers actually look like they were made with a human hand and not by a sad robot. Plus, square patties are weirdly satisfying. McDonald’s burgers taste like nostalgia and cardboard—both comforting and questionable.

Ice Cream Game:
Wendy’s. Because the Frosty machine actually works. McFlurries are great—in theory—but we never get to have one, so what’s the point?

 Breakfast:

Honestly I think we all could agree that Hardees should win this category but.. out of our two competitors the choice is McDonald’s. Wendy’s tried to play the breakfast game with… a croissant with trauma. Sit down, ma’am.

Value:
Wendy’s is basically that boutique store with the $9 side salad. McDonald’s at least pretends to care about your budget (until you hit “medium combo” and it's $13 for air and a bun).

Vibes:
Wendy’s has better social media sass. McDonald’s has better late-night regret energy. It’s a draw, depending on how much you hate yourself that day. But they both get pretty wild on, keeping it fresh never frozen and I'm Mcloving it...yeah I cringed too as I typed that. My bad ya'll.

The Winner!!!:

McDonald’s, by sheer force of iconic-ness. Not because they’re better—oh, absolutely not—but because they’ve perfected the art of being just good enough to keep us crawling back like emotionally battered exes. Just good enough to make us have those late night cravings and forget why we ever even left. (And also forget all the food in our houses already)

The Real Talk

Fast food is a scam we’ve all agreed to pretend isn’t. We pay $12 to be hungry again in an hour, regret our life choices, and probably get a stomachache. But we keep going back because it’s easy, it’s fast, and sometimes, it hits just right. But here’s my advice: 

✔ Keep your expectations low and your fries salted. Fast food is made fast, and doesn't last very long. Remember that as your pulling up to a drive-thru.

✔ And maybe cook at home once in a while. Your stomach and your bank account will thank you.

✔ The employees are human too. Yes it might nit be that hard to remember no ketchup on your McDouble but give them some slack, they're probably running off 5 cups of coffee and a vape. And hey don't be too rude at Wendy's or else they might spit in your chili.

Final Thought

At the end of the day, all fast food is trash—but it’s our trash. Just don’t expect me to pretend Burger King deserves rights. Or that Dairy Queen should really exist outside of ice cream.

Til next time,
— Alyssa 🦩


P.S. Got a topic you want me to "discuss"? Drop it in the comments or email me at AlyssaUnfiltered@outlook.com. I take requests like a sarcastic jukebox.







Comments

  1. Breannawallen16April 8, 2025 at 4:39 PM

    Enjoyed reading this, thanks for doing this discussion. I agree McDonald’s wins by far. (besides the fact they should go ahead and just take all ice cream products off their menu)

    ReplyDelete

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